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  Trying to be the ‘good guy’ or whatever.

  Instead, it only pissed me off.

  “Louis…” I started, but he shook his head.

  “You have another year of high school left, honey. I want you to experience things that I can’t give you anymore,” he murmured.

  He hadn’t given me anything at all.

  At least not in that department.

  We hadn’t gotten that far.

  Honestly, we’d only been ‘seriously’ dating for six months now. And during those six months, he’d been completing his senior year, heading toward graduation. I’d been spending the majority of my time home-schooled because I was just too fucking sick to go to school.

  Luckily that was no longer a concern.

  Two weeks ago, it was decided that monthly, I would need blood transfusions to help with my anemia. There was just something wrong with me, sadly. Once a month, my periods would get so heavy and out of control that I’d get to the point where I was needing a blood transfusion to stay healthy.

  I’d tried many different medicines, including birth control pills to regulate my hormones and red blood cell stimulants to try to get my red blood cell count up where it needs to be. My anemia persisted and now I was left with only one option—monthly transfusions.

  “Pretty much you want me to move on, and you want to move on, and you want to maybe meet back up again one day,” I guessed.

  He shook his head. “No.”

  So if I was understanding it correctly, he wanted to move on, and he didn’t want me to hold out hope that he’d ever come back.

  Though, again, that wasn’t very surprising.

  I’d made it no secret that I didn’t want to leave Kilgore.

  And that was all Louis ever wanted. He wanted to get out of this place, experience the world and travel—hence his joining of the Army.

  But me? All I ever wanted to do was to graduate, go to school to be a nurse, and live life—here.

  I didn’t have any innate desire to go to the other side of the world and experience things there.

  I had it all in Kilgore.

  My mom and dad were here. My friends were here. There was a college right around the corner that would afford me to get my nursing degree. And once upon a time, I had Louis.

  I gathered up the remnants of my lunch, threw it all into the trash can, then turned back to him.

  “Have a good life, Louis Spurlock.”

  “But what about the transfusion?” he asked.

  “Keep your blood. I don’t want it.”

  ***

  Nine months later

  Prom night.

  Most girls would’ve been over the fucking moon that today was such a special day. Me? Not so much.

  This was not a special day. This was another ordinary day.

  Sadly, my good friend Ares was trying to convince me to go to prom when I’d rather do anything but dress up and mingle with the whole high school.

  I was two days away from getting a transfusion of blood that would hopefully give me the energy I needed to finish the last couple of days of school, get my SATs conquered, and take my placement test at the college. My life revolved around getting the infusions.

  From there, I had a senior trip I had to worry about—this one in Beaver’s Bend, Oklahoma. A trip I most assuredly did not want to go on. Ares’ begging had gotten a little overwhelming, and I’d given in and agreed to go even though I’d rather do anything but spend time with those people.

  “Please?” Ares begged.

  I looked over at her, seeing her curly red hair pinned up to the top of her head and dressed to the nines in her finest.

  Me, on the other hand? I didn’t even own a dress.

  Which I told her in the next second.

  “That’s okay, because I purchased a dress with my father’s credit card, and you’re going to wear it,” she countered.

  I gritted my teeth, wondering if I wanted to come up with another excuse or not, but decided against it.

  Instead, I decided, yet again, to give her what she wanted.

  “Fine,” I said. “But don’t expect me to do my nails, and it better not take you more than thirty minutes to do my hair and my makeup.”

  Ares bounced in excitement, and I was stunned to see that her hair didn’t move once.

  It stayed in place, and I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and poking her hair with one finger. It was stiff as a board.

  “How much hairspray did you use?” I asked curiously.

  “Enough.” She grinned. “You won’t be a problem.”

  No, I wouldn’t.

  After Louis and I had broken it off, I’d done a drastic thing and had cut over eighteen inches of hair off.

  Louis had always said that he loved it, and begged me not to cut it. Ever since we were little kids, he’d had an infatuation with my hair.

  And over the years, I’d not even thought twice about it. I didn’t mind the long hair so much and having known how much he adored it felt kind of special to me. It meant that he cared enough to express his disappointment if I were to cut it.

  The moment he left, I’d hacked it off in a fit of anger.

  Then I’d gone to my hairdresser and told her to do what she could.

  That night, I’d taken the mass of hair that I had fashioned into a tight braid before cutting it off, formed it into a keychain of sorts, and sent it to him.

  It’d been the one and only thing that I ever sent to him.

  The last time I’d communicated with him at all.

  I had gone to his basic training graduation.

  Though nobody, not even my father, knew that I went.

  Ares had covered for me, and I’d driven over eighteen hours to see him walk across the stage.

  I wasn’t entirely sure why I’d done it. I also wasn’t entirely sure why I’d stayed long enough for him to notice me there. But I had.

  When he’d started heading my way, I’d gotten lost in the huge crowd, and had driven straight home.

  I’d arrived Sunday night with only seconds to spare until my curfew.

  That night, Louis had called.

  Actually, he’d called quite a bit after his graduation, but I hadn’t had my phone on, so I didn’t get any of those messages until so long after he had left them that I thought it’d be rude to reply.

  Which led to now, six months after seeing him last, after having never returned his texts. Even the random ones that he sent once in a blue moon to check on me.

  I could hear him talking with my father, his father, and my mom in the living room.

  I wasn’t actually sure why they were here, but I knew that I needed to do something. Going to prom was good enough.

  Thirty minutes later on the dot, I was standing in front of a mirror with my hands on my hips, staring at the girl in front of me.

  She was pretty.

  My hair was short enough that it showed off the dangly earrings that had been the one and only gift Louis had ever given me.

  My luck, he’d never even notice.

  But, seeing as he was at my house, in my living room, I wanted to prove a point.

  I was not his anymore.

  In fact, I never would be again.

  Nope. No. Nuh-uh. He could come crawling back to me, and I would refuse.

  “Done!” Ares clapped, finishing hooking a choker necklace onto my neck.

  It looked good.

  It felt like something was constricting my airflow.

  Though, it was hot. I’d give her that.

  Which was why I kept it on instead of ripping it off like I really wanted to do.

  There would be time to take it off later.

  “Ready?” Ares asked.

  Ares wanted to go with me to prom because her date wasn’t showing up until much later in the night.

  I’d agreed because I had nothing better to do.

  At leas
t, that was what I was telling myself was the reason.

  The real reason was downstairs.

  I knew he knew it was prom night.

  I’d gone with him to his prom and had asked him way back then to go with me to mine.

  And I didn’t want him to see me down.

  So I was going, and I was going to walk past him with my head held high.

  “Ready,” I confirmed.

  I didn’t bother to put on my heels just yet.

  That was the very last thing that I needed to deal with—wobbling past him like a baby fawn.

  So, heels hooked in my fingers, I descended the stairs and connected eyes with my father almost immediately.

  His eyes widened and he stood up, his mouth open to immediately deny me, but my pleading eyes must’ve gotten through before he could voice anything.

  He looked over to Louis, who was out of my view as of yet, and then back to me.

  His mouth shut, and he looked at me with a small shake of his head.

  He knew why I was dressed like this.

  “Ohh!” My mother clapped, drawing my attention as I descended two more steps. “You look so beautiful, Calloway.”

  I rolled my eyes and came down the rest of the way, unsurprised to see my brother and sisters absent.

  It was Saturday night. There was no way they’d be caught dead in the house like me.

  Studiously ignoring the other two men in the room—Foster didn’t do anything to me. He just had the unfortunate luck to sit next to his son—I made my way to my dad.

  Dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my head.

  “Don’t do anything stupid,” he murmured.

  Stupid as in ‘don’t do anything that’ll get me pissed at you because you’re pissed at him.’

  Well, I couldn’t promise that. Instead, I just smiled and kissed his jaw since it was the only thing that I could reach on my tippy toes.

  “Love you. We’ll be back late,” I lied.

  I’d be back by ten at the latest. My curfew was twelve most nights, but since it was a Saturday night, I might be able to get a little more time out of him if I absolutely wanted to. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to come home and write on my blog. I wanted to curl up with a good book. And most importantly, I wanted to not think about Louis Clark Spurlock.

  “Wait!” my mother cried as I let my father go. “I want a picture!”

  I sighed and turned to allow my mother to see my face, and I wrapped my arm around my dad’s middle.

  He started to pull me in tighter, but I made a disagreeing sound.

  “If you mess my hair up, Ares is gonna kill me,” I teased.

  “I really will,” Ares supplied, grinning.

  Her eyes were on the men behind me. She was grinning wickedly at who I assumed was Louis. But I didn’t dare turn around to see.

  “Now you two,” my mother ordered.

  I let my dad go and went to Ares.

  We hugged tightly as my mother snapped even more pictures.

  “How about some with…”

  “I can do one with you, and that’s it,” I said to her. “We were supposed to be there over an hour ago.”

  My mother poked her tongue out at me. “You’re no fun.”

  I rolled my eyes and reached for Mom’s phone, handing it to Ares.

  Except, I kind of forgot that to take a picture with my mother, I had to turn and face the other side of the room. Which also meant seeing Louis.

  I reluctantly turned and allowed my mother to curl her arm around me. The smile on her face had me smiling in reaction, too, even though I wanted nothing more than to leave. To run and never look back.

  Instead, I picked my head up high, glanced at the camera, and prayed that my eyes would stay solely on it.

  Instead, the moment the camera was dropped ever so slightly, indicating that Ares was done, I couldn’t stop myself.

  I had to look.

  And when I did, it was like a sucker punch straight to the gut.

  He was in jeans, a t-shirt—one that I fucking bought him, might I add—and his Harley boots. He was wearing a red ball cap—the one that I sent to him via Ares with the rest of his stuff—and a smirk.

  I wanted to smack that smirk right off of his face.

  Pissed off now, I turned on my heels and pressed my lips to my mom’s cheek.

  “We’re gonna go,” I said softly. “Love you.”

  She squeezed me tightly and whispered into my ear, “He’s wishing he never broke up with you.”

  I felt a catch in my throat when I looked at her. “I wish he wouldn’t have, either. But what’s done cannot be undone.”

  With that, I caught Ares’ hand, and we were out the door.

  I swallowed hard when Ares looked backward, her eyes connecting with something that was obviously watching us go.

  In my heart, I wanted it to be Louis.

  In my head, I knew it wasn’t.

  Just before the door closed, I could’ve sworn I heard something.

  “You fucked up, kid.”

  Foster.

  “I know.”

  Louis.

  I pretended I didn’t hear any of that. Instead, I hurried across the wet grass to Ares’s car and tried not to look at Louis’ motorcycle that always seemed to make me feel alive.

  Ares looked at me with a shit-eating grin as we got into her car.

  “I can’t believe he looked at you like that,” she gushed.

  My brows rose.

  “He didn’t look at me like anything,” I countered.

  She scoffed, “Oh, baby. He was looking. Don’t worry.”

  I wasn’t worried.

  Was I?

  Two hours later, once Ares had found her date, I was sneaking out the back.

  I wasn’t sure what I expected at the prom, but it definitely wasn’t what I got.

  The music was loud and overwhelming. The kids were dancing and stomping so loud that the entire gym floor was shaking.

  And somebody at some point during the two hours I’d been there had poured copious amounts of alcohol into the punch bowl.

  Leaving me thirsty as fuck, hot, and ready to get home.

  I was literally ten seconds away from dialing my sister’s number when I heard an amused voice say, “Sneaking out already?”

  I shivered when I heard that voice.

  I turned slowly to see Louis leaning against the brick wall next to the door, staring at me with amusement all over his face.

  “Yes,” I said simply. “It’s hot, and I’m thirsty.”

  “Last year they had drinks,” he said.

  I nodded. “They did, but somebody spiked it. The teachers haven’t caught on yet.”

  “Sloppy of them.” He pushed off the wall. “What are you doing?”

  I waved my phone at him. “Calling Reagan to come get me.”

  “I’ll take you,” he offered.

  I didn’t want him to take me.

  But, sadly, my sister might take quite a long time to get here. And I didn’t think that Louis was going to take no for an answer.

  “I…”

  “Scared?” he taunted me.

  I narrowed my eyes. “No.”

  “Sure?” he said. “Because I’m here. Willing to take you.”

  I rolled my eyes and ran my hands up and down the length of my bare arms.

  “I’m not really dressed to ride,” I pointed out.

  In fact, I wasn’t even sure the dress I was wearing would hike up enough to allow my legs to part to straddle his bike.

  “I brought my car.”

  I looked over my shoulder, and sure enough, his car was there, waiting.

  Like he’d planned this.

  Or knew me that well.

  Son of a bitch.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  He gestured for me to go to the car, and with no other options
, I did as he bid.

  I didn’t wait for him to open my door, though. Instead, I yanked it open and got inside, slamming it closed behind me.

  He looked at me with amusement on his face before rounding the car and getting in on his own side.

  He looked over at me as he started it up, and the familiar rumble of sound made lightning pour through my veins, reminding me of times past.

  God, I needed to get home.

  “Home?” he asked.

  I nodded, feeling the familiar feeling of exhaustion start to set in.

  “You look tired,” he said.

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m always tired.”

  Having chronic anemia was exhausting.

  And I was damn close to needing another transfusion.

  Which sucked because apparently Louis was at home and would want to donate.

  I wouldn’t let him, though.

  Not this time.

  “How long are you here for?” I asked, changing the subject.

  He frowned at me, wanting to stay on that other subject, but I was honestly tired of being ‘that sick girl.’ I just wanted to be a normal teenager.

  Just for once.

  And now that Louis wasn’t around, I realized that he’d always treated me as such.

  With kid’s gloves.

  “I’m here for two weeks before I deploy,” he murmured.

  My stomach sank into my feet.

  “I thought you were going to get stationed overseas. Like Japan or something,” I said.

  He shrugged. “Not in the cards right now, I guess.”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

  On one hand, it wasn’t my right to be pissy or upset about anything. He wasn’t mine anymore.

  But I’d always cared for him—and to be honest with myself, loved him.

  Not that I would be admitting that to him.

  He didn’t need to know that what he did and didn’t do still affected me.

  So instead of saying a word, I sat there silently, contemplating the miles that passed, and refusing to think about how freakin’ scared I was that he was being deployed.

  “You’re awfully quiet over there,” Louis said once we were almost to my house.

  When I didn’t say anything, he kept talking. “You look beautiful tonight.”

  My heart caught in my throat.